so.....i have this habit.....
i like my days to have purpose and meaning. i like them to be full of stuff to do......places to be.....people to talk with.....
i like that every day in israel was full of activity and learning from the moment we woke up to the moment we crawled into bed. i like that my team planned every minute of camp with stuff designed to draw the campers into a family. i like hearing people say, "it's only monday?!?!?! we've done so much already!!!" i like busyness because it makes me feel less wasteful.
but there's a problem.......
busyness often leads to weariness........
it seems inevitable......i'm almost counting down the days before my roommates and i get overwhelmed with the new college schedule. there's a looming dread of "no-sleep-november" and "midterm-maddness." in spite of all the joys and excitements of the first few weeks, the hellish-winter is always waiting........taunting even......
what does it take to avoid the bitterness of winter? i mean, why shouldn't we be able to continue in joyful spirits.....knowing that every minute we live is a minute of purpose? why shouldn't we be excited to wake up at 7:00am in order to make it to class/work on time?
hmm.......maybe that's it. maybe there's a "we" factor to this whole mess. maybe the weariness comes from carrying too many burdens on our own personal shoulders? maybe sometime between september and november, we turn our focus towards individual miderms, and forget about the community? we forget about how these midterms can affect the global Church, and just strive to get that grade that we need.......or something.
maybe i'm stretching a bit too much. but i really want to know what it is that keeps me in good spirits during camp, and prevents me from those good spirits during finals......and i want to know why that can't be avoided.
